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I got back my gpa. I scored 2.10, only. That is so dissapointing! I got B for chemistry and cognitive, D+ for my maths, C for my bio and a fcuking F for my physics. hahaha! Thank god, I don't need to repeat any module. So that means, I am schooling for 4 days per week. yeayness!!! :)


Speaking of Year 2, I think there is a need for me to be serious this time. I cannot be playful. I am competing with students who are taking the same course as me. Hopefully, my soon-to-be classmates are friendly and outgoing. :) I cannot get along with quiet classmates. Let's keep my fingers cross.


I am so sad right now. :( It's saturday and I want to do rock climbing. I texted abg faiz but he's not free since he's going out with his friends. I called rein but dont want. I texted nadz but she don't want. I texted sha but she not free. WHO ELSE?!?!?!?!?!?! Pathetic or what sia! :( :( :( Sad ey tkder org nak buat sports samer2. :( See, having NO bestfriend suck! boohooooo!


Im so sad. BYE!





I can see myself depriving of private time when school re-open of the 15th. First of all, I am occupied from tutoring. Monday and Wednesday goes to Athir while Tuesday and Friday goes to Ulfah. There goes my weekdays. Sunday's mentoring and Saturday's working from 9-2/9-4. That means, I only have thursday left for myself.


I'm quite nervous for year 2. Professional Profilling coming up. Another burden on my shoulder. Ok ok, let's not call it a burden. It sounds so "heavy". haha! Well, another assigment, I guess? lol. But I am looking forward for year 2 too. No more maths. All science babbyyy! I don't think the verge of partialling in year 2 is stronger because I'm talking about CORE modules here. Yikes! I got chill down my spine man. hahaha!


Well, to think of it again..I think it is not wise of me to take up Interest Group in year 2. That's so sad! :( I've been wanting to join Rock Climbing eversince I was in year 1. sob sob! But it's okay I guess. I can still go climb when I'm free. yeay! I've been trying to find the right time to bring rein for a rock climbing together with me. But, I don't have personal harnest, chalk bag and carrabean. tsk! No, I'm not going to buy it. Maybe I'll borrow it. :) When my pay arrives, rock climbing...here we come! :)


I came across my long distance cousin's blog, and I was inspired. Practically, he stayed right infront of my block. haha! So yeah, we're neighbours.


His entries were inspiring to me. He shared diligently. He shared about how he feel and of course, his life journey. I happened to read his entry regarding living your life meaningfully. Typically, we all wake up in the morning, bathe, have breakfast, go to work/school and the cycle continues. Well, he shared about how he wants to be different, how he wants to live his life doing things that is new,challenging and worth it. So many inspiring things he shared. I got inspired and I support his words.


I want to start doing something that I want. I want to do something that I believe will help me change my life. I don't want to laze around doing nothing. I want to do something meaningful and worthwhile..and I've already started. :) Insya'allah, it stays with me.





It's more of the Individual.


It has always been the individual. Not the friends, teachers or the families. They can say " Change ", but after all...it's the individual decision to say YES or NO. We can help as much as we can but it's up to the individual again to make it right. Not us. :)


I am here to support. I am here to listen. I am here to share. I am always here, not going anywhere. Find me through sms, find me through phonecalls, find me through my house phone and I'll be there. You don't have to search me high nor search me low. Just look right straight and you can see me.


Bali was awesome though there's some hiccups here and there. But I've learnt that whatever we planned, it may not happen, whatever we wished for, may not always come true because life's imperfect. :)


I never really thought that I will visit bali. Not at this age, 19 years old. Well, dreams do come true yea. :) Bali has a very pleasant scenery. It's a great place to travel and relax your mind. BUT, the destination from one place to one place might take a few hours. We wasted most of our time travelling from one place to another. The food was awesome! I got hungry easily. =.= haha! typical Syahirah. Can't really blame myself too much. It's my stomache. hehh! But I was a lil but dissapointed with the water activities. I thought I was able to do more than just snorkeling, but I was wrong. We have only limited time because we followed tour guide. =.= That's the only problem. Limitations of time. pffft! But..snorkelling was AWESOME!!!!!! I actually managed to breathe underwater! hahahaha!! Corals, fishes and so much more were seen clearly with my two naked eyes.


It was a very great experienced. And maybe one day, I would really love to bring my love ones there for a holiday. :)


I waited, for my phone to ring. I waited for an sms. An sms or a call that would state "B! I da pat bwh rumah u :) ". But I guess I could kiss that goodbye.


I tried to keep this smile going on but until I knew that we're not going to meet, that smile turned upside down. But I have to keep going positive. It's just a holiday. A 4 days 3 night holidays. I can still meet him after I come back. As much as I want to meet him, I have to understand. I don't know what I have to understand but I'll just do it. This heart of mine is missing him, and I hope it goes the same for him too.


Life's unfair huh. But this is life. I have to accept it. Where I went wrong? I guess it's not important anymore. Things will get haywire if they're destined to be haywire. I have to tell myself to be patience. Patience is the virtue. Love comes to those who are patience. But..patience and limitations. Do they co-exist together? Do patience have limitations? Sometimes I'm confused. When I am patience, no one notice it. But when I got out of control, they asked me " where's your patience?". It sucks. Here's the catch. EVERYTHING has limitations. Age does, living things does and life do have limitations. Limitations are the reason why people die because they've reach the limitations of living. Limitations are the reason why batteries get worn out because they also have reach their limitations. Limitations are the reason why I get out of control...because my patience have reach it's limitations.


And I thought that I will be the one you share your doubts and sorrow with? It's alright. I guess sometimes you just don't feel like sharing to anybody. Again, I understand. I understand why at times you just don't feel like texting me. I understand..BUT, I can't understand EVERTHING. I'm just a human being. But I've been trying to keep my cool and please do forgive me if in the future, I get angry and lose my temper. I couldn't help it. For now, I'll just keep my cool till it reaches its limitations. This does not imply to you, but it also goes to everybody else. I have my limitations. The only thing I have that does not include limitation is LOVE. The love for my parents, the love for my siblings and the love for you. If I die, I'll bring that love along with me. When I die, my soul leaves my body but my sould never leave the LOVE. My soul will bring along the LOVE.


That's all for now.


Everything has it's limitations.


I'm fcuking sad right now. Too much words are flyring around in my brain. FUCK!


I don't know where to start, I don't know how.


AAAAAAAARGH! I can't seem to type it down here. So many things to convey.


Ya know, sometimes its hard to keep your cool. When you get angry, you just get angry. When you're sad, you're simply sad. When you're happy, you're practically happy. But I guess, everyone needs their own time to cool down from their angriness and their sadness.


When you're angry, keep your mouth shut. For the words that you speak when you're angry are words that you don't mean it.


When you're sad, cry as much as you want. When you're done crying your heart out, get composure.


When you're confused, never make decision because you don't know whether you're making the right one.


I'm training myself, from The Art Of Saying No. :)


Saying NO to clubbing
At times, I do get the feeling of wanting to club especially when I listened to songs that really make me move. haha! I see many people around me, going in and out. As in not practically see them lah. I saw it in their pictures. See also what. haha! I heard from people that clubbing's great. The place is dark, you can only see lazer lights everywhere. The dj will play songs on a blast mode. You drink, drank and get drunk. Some say clubbing is a dirty place, because you'll see alot of grinding here and there. I saw one, on a picture. I went ^@%@&^!!!! Maybe because I am not use to this kind of thing. I think it will look NOTHING for some people out there. tsk! I heard so many things about clubbing. I even google and youtube clubbing because I am curious to know what people actually do inside there besides dancing. Sometimes, what I see in the pictures might not be exactly what's happening inside the club itself. Hmmmm...should I go for clubbing and check it out myself? hahahaha!!! The feeling is there, the fire is there. But it's just that, I don't want to go yet. As much as I really want to take a look or should I say, get the feeling of being in a crowd, I still think that it's not worth at all, even if it falls on ladies night. I'll go clubbing only if the place is STRICTLY for dancing, no grinding and no drinks. Or even better, STRICTLY FOR LADIES ONLY. Wah shiok! If that really happen, I will go clubbing. ahaha! What makes me say NO to club? 1) I want to respect myself. I don't want to have any random guys or gays to touch and grind my precious body. This body of mine is MINE. I don't want to be a cheap girl. 2) I have someone whom I love. I want to respect him and I want him to respect me too. I don't want to hurt his feeling just because of clubbing. Siaper suker matair sndiri pegi clubbing? chet! Tak sikit tak bnyk, mesti ader perasaan tak suke jgak. I know that. hahaha! 3) I think that it's a dirty place. 4) I know I'll get drifted away if I club. 5) WASTE OF MONEY!! 6) I can substitute that money spent on club for my clothes or food. 7) I have a parents who loves me, who cares for me. It's not fair for them for me to behave like a devil after 18 years of their lives taking good care of me. I want to respect their feelings. No parents will allow their child to go clubbing. No parents will want to see their kids in a druck state.


No doubt, I do have a feeling of going clubbing but till this very moment of mine, I'll just stick to The Art Of Saying No. So...say NO!!!!


Saying NO to liquor.
HAHAHA! It made me laugh while I typed "Saying NO to liquor" because I myself drank a liquor before. I drank it on 2 occasions. The first time I drank was after I celebrated my 18th birthday. I got myself breezer. haha! Breezer's nothing. I don't even feel tipsy at all. The 2nd time was during the chalet. I drank breezer, wine and a lil bit of beer which tasted so bitter! No, I wasn't drunk. I know when to say stop and enough. After the whole occassion, I felt so remorseful. I felt that I failed to protect myself. I felt so dissapointed with my own act. I falied to say NO to harmful drinks. :( I also failed to respect myself, I failed to respect my parents and I failed to respect him. :( That is why, I am learning The Art Of Saying No to liquor. :) Now that I've tried, it's time for me to stop. One of the reason why I drank was because, I am curious. I am a type of person who is very curious at everything. I just wanted to taste how liquor was and how was the feeling of getting tipsy. BOWDOW KAN! hahahaha.. Second reason was, influence from friends. See, influence from friends is very powerful okay. I admitted that I could not help myself but to go with the flow. But right now, enough is enough. I'm turning 19 and that means, CHANGE. :) I don't want to get wild as I grow older. I want to get matured, mentally. Because god gives me a working brain. haha!


So yeah, say no to liquor!


Yes, I am imperfect. I still make mistakes. I do lie to my parents, I do go against the curfew, I do spend my money of stupid stuffs, I do cursed, I rarely pray. Yes, so many things for me to improve on. BUT atleast, I minimize the number of mistakes. I cut down the list. As I grow older, I should cut down on the number of sins/mistakes. Yes, that is how things should be..for me.


There are still many The Art Of Saying No besides clubbing and liquor. But for now, I'll start with just 2. No clubbing, No liquor. :)

I got back my gpa. I scored 2.10, only. That is so dissapointing! I got B for chemistry and cognitive, D+ for my maths, C for my bio and a fcuking F for my physics. hahaha! Thank god, I don't need to repeat any module. So that means, I am schooling for 4 days per week. yeayness!!! :)


Speaking of Year 2, I think there is a need for me to be serious this time. I cannot be playful. I am competing with students who are taking the same course as me. Hopefully, my soon-to-be classmates are friendly and outgoing. :) I cannot get along with quiet classmates. Let's keep my fingers cross.


I am so sad right now. :( It's saturday and I want to do rock climbing. I texted abg faiz but he's not free since he's going out with his friends. I called rein but dont want. I texted nadz but she don't want. I texted sha but she not free. WHO ELSE?!?!?!?!?!?! Pathetic or what sia! :( :( :( Sad ey tkder org nak buat sports samer2. :( See, having NO bestfriend suck! boohooooo!


Im so sad. BYE!





I can see myself depriving of private time when school re-open of the 15th. First of all, I am occupied from tutoring. Monday and Wednesday goes to Athir while Tuesday and Friday goes to Ulfah. There goes my weekdays. Sunday's mentoring and Saturday's working from 9-2/9-4. That means, I only have thursday left for myself.


I'm quite nervous for year 2. Professional Profilling coming up. Another burden on my shoulder. Ok ok, let's not call it a burden. It sounds so "heavy". haha! Well, another assigment, I guess? lol. But I am looking forward for year 2 too. No more maths. All science babbyyy! I don't think the verge of partialling in year 2 is stronger because I'm talking about CORE modules here. Yikes! I got chill down my spine man. hahaha!


Well, to think of it again..I think it is not wise of me to take up Interest Group in year 2. That's so sad! :( I've been wanting to join Rock Climbing eversince I was in year 1. sob sob! But it's okay I guess. I can still go climb when I'm free. yeay! I've been trying to find the right time to bring rein for a rock climbing together with me. But, I don't have personal harnest, chalk bag and carrabean. tsk! No, I'm not going to buy it. Maybe I'll borrow it. :) When my pay arrives, rock climbing...here we come! :)


I came across my long distance cousin's blog, and I was inspired. Practically, he stayed right infront of my block. haha! So yeah, we're neighbours.


His entries were inspiring to me. He shared diligently. He shared about how he feel and of course, his life journey. I happened to read his entry regarding living your life meaningfully. Typically, we all wake up in the morning, bathe, have breakfast, go to work/school and the cycle continues. Well, he shared about how he wants to be different, how he wants to live his life doing things that is new,challenging and worth it. So many inspiring things he shared. I got inspired and I support his words.


I want to start doing something that I want. I want to do something that I believe will help me change my life. I don't want to laze around doing nothing. I want to do something meaningful and worthwhile..and I've already started. :) Insya'allah, it stays with me.





It's more of the Individual.


It has always been the individual. Not the friends, teachers or the families. They can say " Change ", but after all...it's the individual decision to say YES or NO. We can help as much as we can but it's up to the individual again to make it right. Not us. :)


I am here to support. I am here to listen. I am here to share. I am always here, not going anywhere. Find me through sms, find me through phonecalls, find me through my house phone and I'll be there. You don't have to search me high nor search me low. Just look right straight and you can see me.


Bali was awesome though there's some hiccups here and there. But I've learnt that whatever we planned, it may not happen, whatever we wished for, may not always come true because life's imperfect. :)


I never really thought that I will visit bali. Not at this age, 19 years old. Well, dreams do come true yea. :) Bali has a very pleasant scenery. It's a great place to travel and relax your mind. BUT, the destination from one place to one place might take a few hours. We wasted most of our time travelling from one place to another. The food was awesome! I got hungry easily. =.= haha! typical Syahirah. Can't really blame myself too much. It's my stomache. hehh! But I was a lil but dissapointed with the water activities. I thought I was able to do more than just snorkeling, but I was wrong. We have only limited time because we followed tour guide. =.= That's the only problem. Limitations of time. pffft! But..snorkelling was AWESOME!!!!!! I actually managed to breathe underwater! hahahaha!! Corals, fishes and so much more were seen clearly with my two naked eyes.


It was a very great experienced. And maybe one day, I would really love to bring my love ones there for a holiday. :)


I waited, for my phone to ring. I waited for an sms. An sms or a call that would state "B! I da pat bwh rumah u :) ". But I guess I could kiss that goodbye.


I tried to keep this smile going on but until I knew that we're not going to meet, that smile turned upside down. But I have to keep going positive. It's just a holiday. A 4 days 3 night holidays. I can still meet him after I come back. As much as I want to meet him, I have to understand. I don't know what I have to understand but I'll just do it. This heart of mine is missing him, and I hope it goes the same for him too.


Life's unfair huh. But this is life. I have to accept it. Where I went wrong? I guess it's not important anymore. Things will get haywire if they're destined to be haywire. I have to tell myself to be patience. Patience is the virtue. Love comes to those who are patience. But..patience and limitations. Do they co-exist together? Do patience have limitations? Sometimes I'm confused. When I am patience, no one notice it. But when I got out of control, they asked me " where's your patience?". It sucks. Here's the catch. EVERYTHING has limitations. Age does, living things does and life do have limitations. Limitations are the reason why people die because they've reach the limitations of living. Limitations are the reason why batteries get worn out because they also have reach their limitations. Limitations are the reason why I get out of control...because my patience have reach it's limitations.


And I thought that I will be the one you share your doubts and sorrow with? It's alright. I guess sometimes you just don't feel like sharing to anybody. Again, I understand. I understand why at times you just don't feel like texting me. I understand..BUT, I can't understand EVERTHING. I'm just a human being. But I've been trying to keep my cool and please do forgive me if in the future, I get angry and lose my temper. I couldn't help it. For now, I'll just keep my cool till it reaches its limitations. This does not imply to you, but it also goes to everybody else. I have my limitations. The only thing I have that does not include limitation is LOVE. The love for my parents, the love for my siblings and the love for you. If I die, I'll bring that love along with me. When I die, my soul leaves my body but my sould never leave the LOVE. My soul will bring along the LOVE.


That's all for now.


Everything has it's limitations.


I'm fcuking sad right now. Too much words are flyring around in my brain. FUCK!


I don't know where to start, I don't know how.


AAAAAAAARGH! I can't seem to type it down here. So many things to convey.


Ya know, sometimes its hard to keep your cool. When you get angry, you just get angry. When you're sad, you're simply sad. When you're happy, you're practically happy. But I guess, everyone needs their own time to cool down from their angriness and their sadness.


When you're angry, keep your mouth shut. For the words that you speak when you're angry are words that you don't mean it.


When you're sad, cry as much as you want. When you're done crying your heart out, get composure.


When you're confused, never make decision because you don't know whether you're making the right one.


I'm training myself, from The Art Of Saying No. :)


Saying NO to clubbing
At times, I do get the feeling of wanting to club especially when I listened to songs that really make me move. haha! I see many people around me, going in and out. As in not practically see them lah. I saw it in their pictures. See also what. haha! I heard from people that clubbing's great. The place is dark, you can only see lazer lights everywhere. The dj will play songs on a blast mode. You drink, drank and get drunk. Some say clubbing is a dirty place, because you'll see alot of grinding here and there. I saw one, on a picture. I went ^@%@&^!!!! Maybe because I am not use to this kind of thing. I think it will look NOTHING for some people out there. tsk! I heard so many things about clubbing. I even google and youtube clubbing because I am curious to know what people actually do inside there besides dancing. Sometimes, what I see in the pictures might not be exactly what's happening inside the club itself. Hmmmm...should I go for clubbing and check it out myself? hahahaha!!! The feeling is there, the fire is there. But it's just that, I don't want to go yet. As much as I really want to take a look or should I say, get the feeling of being in a crowd, I still think that it's not worth at all, even if it falls on ladies night. I'll go clubbing only if the place is STRICTLY for dancing, no grinding and no drinks. Or even better, STRICTLY FOR LADIES ONLY. Wah shiok! If that really happen, I will go clubbing. ahaha! What makes me say NO to club? 1) I want to respect myself. I don't want to have any random guys or gays to touch and grind my precious body. This body of mine is MINE. I don't want to be a cheap girl. 2) I have someone whom I love. I want to respect him and I want him to respect me too. I don't want to hurt his feeling just because of clubbing. Siaper suker matair sndiri pegi clubbing? chet! Tak sikit tak bnyk, mesti ader perasaan tak suke jgak. I know that. hahaha! 3) I think that it's a dirty place. 4) I know I'll get drifted away if I club. 5) WASTE OF MONEY!! 6) I can substitute that money spent on club for my clothes or food. 7) I have a parents who loves me, who cares for me. It's not fair for them for me to behave like a devil after 18 years of their lives taking good care of me. I want to respect their feelings. No parents will allow their child to go clubbing. No parents will want to see their kids in a druck state.


No doubt, I do have a feeling of going clubbing but till this very moment of mine, I'll just stick to The Art Of Saying No. So...say NO!!!!


Saying NO to liquor.
HAHAHA! It made me laugh while I typed "Saying NO to liquor" because I myself drank a liquor before. I drank it on 2 occasions. The first time I drank was after I celebrated my 18th birthday. I got myself breezer. haha! Breezer's nothing. I don't even feel tipsy at all. The 2nd time was during the chalet. I drank breezer, wine and a lil bit of beer which tasted so bitter! No, I wasn't drunk. I know when to say stop and enough. After the whole occassion, I felt so remorseful. I felt that I failed to protect myself. I felt so dissapointed with my own act. I falied to say NO to harmful drinks. :( I also failed to respect myself, I failed to respect my parents and I failed to respect him. :( That is why, I am learning The Art Of Saying No to liquor. :) Now that I've tried, it's time for me to stop. One of the reason why I drank was because, I am curious. I am a type of person who is very curious at everything. I just wanted to taste how liquor was and how was the feeling of getting tipsy. BOWDOW KAN! hahahaha.. Second reason was, influence from friends. See, influence from friends is very powerful okay. I admitted that I could not help myself but to go with the flow. But right now, enough is enough. I'm turning 19 and that means, CHANGE. :) I don't want to get wild as I grow older. I want to get matured, mentally. Because god gives me a working brain. haha!


So yeah, say no to liquor!


Yes, I am imperfect. I still make mistakes. I do lie to my parents, I do go against the curfew, I do spend my money of stupid stuffs, I do cursed, I rarely pray. Yes, so many things for me to improve on. BUT atleast, I minimize the number of mistakes. I cut down the list. As I grow older, I should cut down on the number of sins/mistakes. Yes, that is how things should be..for me.


There are still many The Art Of Saying No besides clubbing and liquor. But for now, I'll start with just 2. No clubbing, No liquor. :)

xoxo, Syahirah.

I'm just a person who loves her life.

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March 2010

Because if I am being honest with you, you would l... Testing my patience that is long gone. I got back my gpa. I scored 2.10, only. That is so... Fuck it. You loser. I can see myself depriving of private time when sc... I came across my long distance cousin's blog, and ... I GOT BACK MY RESULTS! AND I FAILED MY PHYSICS!hah... It's more of the Individual.It has always been the... Bali was awesome though there's some hiccups here ... I waited, for my phone to ring. I waited for an sm...

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